On being single

Being single is not very interesting in India. You have to answer even to strangers ‘why you are not getting married’? I don’t like somebody asking personal questions, but this is the way we are. Indians, probably everybody in the sub continent, are curious to know about you. If you are a single woman and travel alone, you have to deal with lot of silly questions. They don’t mean anything bad, but they are not used to women traveling alone. And of course marriage is considered a sacred institution in India. We are supposed to move through a track that is drawn by society. Indians don’t generally accept rebels ,or they don’t feel the need for privacy. It is quite usual , people to interfere in your affairs.
I am not against marriage, but against getting married just for the sake of it. I often wonder how people get marry to a person who is a stranger as it happens in the arranged marriages here. I am pretty choosy about a life partner. I think one needs to have certain compatibility with the person who would be your life partner. Besides I feel it is absolutely an individual choice whether to get marry or not to. But this kind of ‘individualism’ doesn’t exist here. And you have no choice or power to decide on your life in the conservative social system. Perhaps I think too much about every little thing. However I find myself quite unfit in this way of life.

People will start find their own reason if you don’t give them reason for your single status. At least they will warn you of the consequences of being single. I must say that I enjoy my single status though it can be boring sometimes. I crave for a company while traveling, particularly to help me with my luggage and other stuff. But being single is better than being in an unhappy marriage.

Indian political thamasha

Indian politics is a great thamasha. 'Mein prime minister banna chahtha huin’is the mantra of even chota political leaders. Everybody from Sharad Pawar to Mayavati and Deve Gowda to Jayalalita wants to become Prime Minister. Some flirt with other parties, even while stay ‘married’ with Congress or BJP. They joined in the third front formed at the behest of left parties, whose agenda is anti-BJP and Anti-congress govt. But the parties who joined with Left don’t even have a national vision, let alone a national agenda. An alliance with regional parties having too many Prime Minister aspirants is a vain exercise. NCP leader Sharad Pawar has already said that this time people want a Maharashtrian to be Prime Minister. I feel it is quite a narrow perspective and an Indian Prime Minister should be above regionalism as well religionalism.

Left is known for their ‘antism(read anti-America, Anti- development, anti-BJP )though blind at Chinese aggression. Besides left parties hardly have any impact in other states except Kerala and West Bengal. Some of their allies in the newly formed third front is infamous for non reliability and some face even corruption charges. I think this ‘love affair’ is not going to last.
What we lack here is a charismatic leader having devotion and sincerity. There is no way for sincere and intelligent people to enter into the political system. Only means to enter into politics is the primitive way of rallies and protests that is certainly not appealing. Hope this political thamasha won’t end with the election, but it is probably the beginning. This may result in marriage of convenience and divorces.

Mumbai meri Jan

Mumbai slum life is romanticized by Robert Gregory Davids in his book ‘Shantaram’. Now ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ adds glamour to its slums. But there is a Mumbai beyond its slums and poverty, beyond bollywood and sky scrappers. Glamour, penury, beauty, dirtiness, dreams, frustrations - all stay hand in hand here. But one must probably find that by oneself.

When I decided to move there, my friends discouraged me saying it a dustbin of Asia. They told me that you can’t cope with the fast life of the megalopolis. As someone from a small place in Kerala, life in Mumbai seemed quite scaring for me. Underworld rivalry, riots, bollywood, crowded local train - Mumbai was a mix of all in my imagination. Besides, I never lived in a big city before. Yet I thought better to explore by myself than seeing things through somebody’s eyes (I have a tendency to take decisions by myself eventhough I respect others advices).

But Mumbai changed my perception, my attitude and I found out myself in the faceless crowd. I found myself in a brave, confident and young Mumbai. I became a more confident person. I met bhayyas, bongs, mallus and Gujjus (local term used for people of different languages) there. In my office there might be a Bengali sitting one side, and a Parsi opposite (those who are from Persia). But there we are all ‘Mumbaikar’. This cultural mix was so appealing to me and an opportunity to learn. Mumbai opened the door of a new world before me.

There are prostitutes and bar girls who land in this city to make a quick buck. There are pimps around you in railway stations and at crowded places to trap those helpless girls who run away from home to evade violence or poverty. When I travelled in the crowded local train among smelling fisher women, I would regret for being there, when I saw people shitting on road I would chose to shut my eyes and nose against this city. When I saw beggars follow you like an illness I would curse our poverty.

Yet I would wake up with a new hope next morning, I would go to south Mumbai and buy an export quality dress at a cheap price, I would go to a road side book vendor to buy even the latest book at a lower rate. What not, there is drama, dance, music, painting to feed your mind and heart. If you are still hungry, you can relish on Mumbai Burger (Vada Pav). It won’t cost you much. Street food culture is very active in Mumbai. Besides Vada pav, there are Sev Puri, Pani Puri, Dahi Puri and different kinds of chatts to make you feel the taste of Mumbai. On sitting at the sea side near Gateway of India, you can dream of Taj. Mumbai is charming even in her dirtiness, She is like a bewitching woman who beckons to you even when ugly. She has a caring soul, and there is life in Mumbai.

Mumbai survived riots, terrorism, underworld blood bath. Many build up their business empire here from nothing. Many became rich and famous. Mumbai is the back born of Indian economy. Everything is possible in this city of opportunity. There is a local joke about Mumbai that ‘you can buy anything here except your parents’. Rich and poor alike pour in here insearch of a better future. Whether it is a fugitive from Australia or a beggar from a remote village of India; she receives all with an open arm. she reminds me the words of one small business man from UP that ‘In Mumbai nobody die of hunger’. They say Mumbai is blessed by Mumba devi(Goddess Mumba).

Many faces composes Mumbai: this is the city of ivory tower dwellers and slum dwellers alike. City of celebrities and road side vendors. City of those employees who ran faster than fast train. Here nobody asks you questions about your home, parents or religion. Nobody interfere in your affairs, even house maids maintain a dignity in dealing with you. It is a place where you can have your individual space in the crowd, and besides safer to women than any other Indian cities. I am happy I chose to come to Mumbai. I always love you Mumbai.

An Angel without wings

I met her at Ponta Sahib (a small town in Himachal Pradesh) during Tibetan march. They were having rest at a Tibetan monastery when got arrested. I was so tired after a long journey from Macloed Ganj and was trying to find a place to rest. But she approached me with a bright smile and offered all the help to rest at her place. Obviously the place is not very spacious, but I found her presence so comforting. She is not fluent in English, but managed to convey through a translator that there is lot in her heart to tell me, but can’t express. It was the beginning of a great friendship between us.

Her name is Kunchok Lhamo, she is an Angel without wings. She came to India with her old father on foot. She was accompanying him who had to leave Tibet to escape Chinese army. He was tortured in prison for many years due to his political activities. On their way, the Nepalese guides never helped her old father to cross the mountains, instead they were giving a helping hand to beautiful girls, she says.

I was so moved by the kindness and love she shows to everybody, she is a girl who is devoid of any worldly vices. An innocent wild rose who doesn’t aware of her beauty, but spreads her fragrance to all around her unselfishly. She has a big house in Tibet, but she has to live in a tiny room at Macleod Ganj. Sitting in her little place, she dreams of the peach fruits, apple and wall nuts in her garden in Tibet. She desperately wants to be in her beautiful home with her affectionate mother.

When in Macleod Ganj, I am a regular visitor to her home. Probably nobody take care of me as they do. I learned from them the art of giving more than you have; loving more than you get. Sometimes her father says I am his elder daughter. I can’t hear her father’s story without tears in my eyes. What moves me is the amount of kindness in him despite the inhuman tortures he had gone through in Chinese prison. He surprises me with his knowledge about India and world at large, though he had never been to school. They are so close to my heart, may be that existed long before I met Lhamo.

Rahman and Slumdog Millionanaire

Everybody in India celebrates Alla Rakha Rahman. Oscar award is sure a recognition for his genius and he well deserves that, eventhough I don’t feel oscar is the best award in the world. Probably it is more about glamour and glitter. But this gave a chance to west and US to get to know Rahman’s musical talent. Otherwise our musicians are not much exposed to western world. But Rahman composed wonderful songs right from the beginning of his career way back in 80s. I prefer to listen to the Tamil version of his songs to Hindi ones, it is more musical to my ears. For me it is a spiritual experience too. Rahman himself admitted that music composing is a spiritual journey to him. What is attractive about him is his humility. Born hindu who is converted to Islam he embodies the true spirit of Sufism - to surpass one’s ego.
And for sound Engineer Resul Pookutty, oscar award is a great honour and achievement. They both represents a bright and talented young India.

Slumdog is a well made film though commercial one, and I particularly liked the way director experiment with non-actors. He could tap the talent of slum kids that made them perform like seasoned actors. This film made slum kids dream a world beyond their limit, beyond their little shanty. There are many negative views in India about the success of this film. True it get noticed because of the British director. India had rags to rich stories in the romantic idealistic eras of 70s and 80s. But we don’t need to get upset about somebody show casing poverty. Instead we must get upset by the amount of poverty we have in India. Personally it stir my conscience whenever I see people live in abject poverty. This is one side of India which is poor and abandoned. And bad things get good publicity, but this is true of any nation. I feel we must take this criticism positively and work towards eradicating poverty.

But I do feel that Slumdog, Rahman and Resul got Oscar mainly because director knows oscar market well. it is all about marketing.

Macleod Ganj Diary

Macleod Ganj is as charming as any part of Himachal Pradesh. I am pretty fascinated by this mountain state. Macleod Ganj was my first stop in Himachal Pradesh, later I have been to many other places in this state and would like to visit again and again. Dalai Lama, monks… it was all about a spiritual aura in the beginning. The monks are the friendliest people I have ever seen. They are approachable and always ready to help you.

It is more or less a Tibetan area. So it is no surprise that whenever I write about Macleod Ganj, it happens to be a Tibetan story. I feel proud of Tibetans who made a living here without forgetting their root. I feel so sympathetic to the Tibetan refugees who had to give up their homeland. I heard stories of Chinese Army snatching away all their valuables and literally made them poor during the invasion. Probably as they live in an alien land, here in India they have a strong community feeling and help each other.

What surprises me is the kind of unseen wall between locals and Tibetans. There is hardly any interaction among them. After many years in India, Tibetans live as separate community here. Maybe locals feel threatened of their presence? But I find Tibetans are more keen to interact with westerners, one could feel that if pay a visit to any of Tibetan shop. For many young Tibetans, India is a temporary resting place before their destination to USA or Europe. It is funny to see many Tibetans youth rubbing shoulder with western girls, struggle to speak with an American accent.

A large part of Tibetan youthness is trendy and fashion-conscious unlike the locals who seems to have other preoccupation. During my many visits to Macleod Ganj, I realized that beyond Buddhism and spirituality, Tibetans look at west and imitate them.

Locals Indians don’t have much sympathy for Tibetans. Initially it was bit astonishing to me. When I asked about this to some Indians they told me ‘we know them as we live with them’. I didn’t really get what they meant, but thought better to leave that there. Besides they feel Tibetans have many well wishers abroad, they get fund, one even put it like this: ‘They have Richard Gere, who is there for those Indians who beg on street?’
However I have always sympathy for Tibetans and I particularly support their non-violent freedom struggle. In all their protest marches they carry the picture of Mahatma Gandhi. It is heartening to see Gandhi is ‘enliven’ through them when we forgot the great son of India. I feel India must be grateful to them also as they preserved the Buddhist religion and culture. It is through Tibet Buddhism spread to its neibhouring places
But with all its draw backs, I still love to be in Macleod Ganj, I love the freedom and safety of a woman here, I love to see the variety of people from all over the world here, I love the different cuisines here. Last but not least I cherish a walk to Dalai Lama's Temple when I feel lost and lonely.

Spiti - a lost Valley

Spiti is a lost valley sandwitched between perennial snow capped mountains. Cold, remote and dry - it looks like another country inside India. The sight of huge mountains that appears as if to kiss the blue sky is so spectacular. The valley is not much exposed to tourism though blessed with unique features.

Reaching there is a real adventure. The muddy, zigzag road from Manali to Kaza (head quarters of Spiti) can be scary at times. It was dry and sunny in june when we set out for Kaza. Everybody at the Himachal Pradesh state bus we were traveling seemed so tired when it stopped for lunch at Rohtang pass. There was only one little dhaba on that deserted way. The simple food consists of rice, dal and a vegetable appeared so delicious.

The red soil of Kaza reminds me of the Mars surface's pictures. Kazans are friendly and greet you with a warm hello ("jooley"). Their world is so small and simple and without much ambitions. I could read a kind of tranquility and innocence on the face of every Spitian I came across. I wanted to take into my arms the muddy faced children who looked at us in awe and curiosity.

Their culture and food habits are similar to that of Tibetan. Spiti is a 100% buddhist valley where people hold Dalai Lama in high regard. One of the ancient Buddhist temple - Tabo monastery, build in 996 of our era, is situated here.
Due to the extreme weather and location, life is hard for Spitians. They are literally away from much of the modern amenities. There is neather means for higher education nor opportunity for job. Only few can afford to send their children for higher studies.



Bollywud and cricket connect India well. Here also I have seen people thronging before TV to watch hindi films and Cricket. Before leaving, me and my friend Mat were invited to the house of a local Spitian whom I befriended in the bus.
The house is made in a traditional style with mud and straw. As everybody knows hindi I could communicate with them well. They didn't have any idea of Switzerland where my friend Mat belongs to. For them he is just an 'angrezi' (English man, but tried to include him also in conversation).

Everybody in the house sat on the floor mat to chat with us. They were so eager to speak of their place and culture. We have been served tea and different snacks. While leaving, our host told me that their house will be open to us anytime we go there. With all their limitations, Spitians are rich at heart, I thought.

Salute to our Real Heroes

India watched in awe the last few days when our security men were fighting to save the innocent lives in Mumbai. It is really a shamethat country's heritage hotel Taj was attacked, our pride was shattered. Innocent unarmed civilians are targetted so often. But the brave security men restored our pride with their valiant act. The spirit of Mumbaikar is so much hyped whenever there is an attack; but that is just people's compulsion to survival.

We are hero-worshippers. People often line up even on street to have a glimpse of their film heros. Unfortunately we realise the real heros only after they lay down their life for us. The extreme devotion and strong will of the security men who fight against terrorists with a limited fecility and out dated weapons are remarkable. My heart reaches out to those great sons of India who laid down their life for us. They give me some hope when the politicians often letting down the people.

Thoughts about Religion

I live in a society where all the major religions in the world have its presence. This enabled me to have a broader vision about religion and reach beyond its narrow frame. But what happens in Kandhmal (Orissa) in the name of religion make me think 'why religion'?

India is one of the few countries where there is no official religion - thanks to the enlightened view of the architechts of our constitution. If go by statitics, India has all the 'right' to be a Hindu state. But this land allows even certain special rights to minority communities in the area of education and minority interests are well guarded in the constitution. Until politics came into the scene, Hindus never were concerned of religious conversion or any activities of minority community.

When politics reared its ugly head, things got much worse. Politicians treat people as mere vote bank and religious leaders use them for their selfish motives. Politics and religion make strange bed fellows and together it exploit the ignorance of the mass. Religion is something so deeply rooted in Indian psyche, so people are quite 'vulnerable' in this regard.

All religions are responsible for the clashes in the name of religion. Probably it is the caste system and poverty that pushes many hindus to the fold of other religions that promise equality (but that is not true, a lower caste hindu converted to christianity remain a lower caste christain all his/her life – the complex indian social system is to be blamed for this).
Now with their political wing, hindus feel the need to protect religion and act against religious conversions. And it is not only Hindus who fight in Kandhmal, Christians also fight with the help of Maoists (what an irony, join hand with atheists in the name of religion). It is totally wrong to depict India as a place where minorities are not safe as certain western medias do.

I am against proselytism, it is just taking advantage of one's disadvantage. At the same time it would be nice if the protectors of religion have an insight about our society. So atleast they can find an answer to why conversions happens. Probably then they can turn their destructive energy to constructive one. That would contribute to the upliftment of underprivileged class. So conversions can be stopped forever.

Besides, I feel the mass should be educated against being used in the name of religion and politics. They must be taught to be compassionate and tolerant. After all religion is to purify oneself, not to fight with each other.

Green Sikkim

Nature is spectacular everywhere. When you travel to a new place, its mountains and oceans may remind you of the last one you have seen. It is my first visit to Sikkim, or any north east state of India for that matter. This hill state reminds me of Mcleodganj with its mountains attired in green. But there ends the resemblance. India is the abode of many cultures, languages and religions, and north eastern states are as different as four southern states in many respects. I feel it is the people that bring the real charm to any place. Here also I met a couple of nice souls.

Gangtok, the capital of Sikkim is a well planned city and clean compared to other Indian townes - may be the cleanest and greenest in India. People are friendly and disciplined; I was so relieved here as I come from chaotic places. This state is the most peaceful in India, here communal violence, quarrels or shouting don't disrupt the tranquility of the place. I haven't seen any single beggar here and foot path vendors too are alien to this place.

Buddhism has got a huge influence on the society. Buddhist monasteries are the landmark of this green state. There are many monasteries as well monks also. The graceful architecture of this monasteries are real feast to the eyes. Buddhism came here from Tibet and Tibetan influence can be seen in the cuisines and attires. There are quite a few Tibetan origin Indians here.



Women also are more empowered than in the rest of India. I have seen young girls in modern outfits, selling flowers and vegetables in market. They were not stared while buying liquors - in fact I haven't never seen any girl buying liquor in any part of India. Kavita, the student convener of SDF (Sikkim Democratic Front) says she feels proud of Sikkim as women are more free and there is no dowry system here. Her parents are supportive of her political activities and there is no parental pressure to get marry, she says with a warm smile.

But as an independent kingdom till 1975, many here don't feel like Indians. It is evident when they say, 'Indians speak loudly'. When I asked about this to my friend who is an engineer with Sikkim govt, he responded, 'Have you seen anybody in the parliament who look like me?'. Sadly, Indian politics is controlled by politicians from hindi belt where even literacy is below the national average. And Sikkim has only one parliament seat! So is other north eastern states also.

I will leave Gangtok tomorrow, but I will miss the greenery and the warm smile of the people in this little green state.